The Moment I Realized I'd Lost Myself

I remember the exact moment it hit me.

It was about 2 and a half years ago, and on the surface, my life looked great. I had just turned 35 and was working at a late-stage startup that I absolutely loved. I was surrounded by brilliant, empathetic people, helping to build a team that was solving meaningful, complex problems. I felt connected, impactful, and fulfilled in my work.

But then, during a lunchtime networking event, everything changed.

The Realization That Stopped Me in My Tracks

The event was designed like speed networking, where we rotated around the room, chatting with teammates about anything but work. It was fun, casual, and an opportunity to connect on a deeper level.

After about four or five rounds, I started noticing a pattern. My teammates were talking about their passions—hobbies, fitness routines, creative projects, weekend adventures, things that lit them up outside of work.

And me?

I was talking about how busy I was.

I laughed about the latest HOA drama I was dealing with as a trustee. I talked about running my son to baseball games and tournaments. I shared how much I loved watching him play and how proud I was of him.

But the truth? I had nothing for myself.

Not once in that conversation did I mention a passion of my own. Because I didn’t have one.

When “Mom” and “Wife” Became My Whole Identity

As the event wrapped up, I felt an uneasy pit in my stomach. I started asking myself:

• What do I do for fun?

• What excites me?

• Who am I outside of being a mom, a wife, an employee?

And I had no idea.

My life had become a constant loop of responsibilities—cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, commuting to baseball games, handling household tasks. The rare quiet moments I had were spent mindlessly scrolling my phone before bed, too exhausted to do anything else.

I had poured everything into my family, my job, my obligations… but I had completely neglected myself.

If This Feels Familiar, You’re Not Alone

If you’re reading this and thinking, this sounds like me, I want you to know—you’re not alone.

It’s easy to get lost in the never-ending responsibilities of motherhood and life. But you are more than what you do for others. You deserve to have dreams, hobbies, and moments of joy that are just for you.

And if you don’t know where to start? That’s okay. Just take one small step—write, explore, try something new.

Because reclaiming yourself starts with realizing you’re worth reclaiming.