Breaking Free from the Guilt of Prioritizing Myself

Mindy Sipes
Feb 10
3 min read

Updated: Mar 4

For years, I believed that putting myself first was selfish.

Woman with eyes closed, serene expression, and windblown hair. Wearing a dark jacket against a blurred, earthy-toned background.

As a mom, partner, and professional, I thought my role was to give endlessly to others, often neglecting my own needs. It wasn’t until I faced complete burnout that I realized something had to change. But when I finally started prioritizing myself, I was met with overwhelming guilt.

Should I really be spending time at the gym when there’s laundry to do?What if my family thinks I don’t care as much?Am I being selfish?

I’ve been there, and I’m still figuring it out. If you’ve ever felt this way, you’re not alone in this.

Let’s talk about why this guilt exists, how we can move past it, and why prioritizing ourselves isn’t selfish—it’s necessary.

Understanding the Guilt: Why We Feel This Way

Many of us have been conditioned to believe that dedicating time to ourselves takes away from our responsibilities to others.

📌 Society tells us that being a good mom means sacrificing everything for our family.

📌 Work culture makes us believe that rest is a sign of laziness.

📌 Family and friends may not understand why we suddenly have boundaries.

This mindset can lead to feelings of guilt every time we do something for ourselves. But here’s the truth—self-care isn’t indulgent. It’s essential.

I spent years putting myself last, thinking that was what made me a good mom and partner. But the more I ignored my own needs, the more exhausted, irritable, and disconnected I became.

Something had to change.

4 Strategies That Helped Me Prioritize Myself Without Guilt

1. Reframing Self-Care as a Responsibility, Not a Luxury

I used to believe that self-care was something you did after everything else was taken care of. But when does that ever happen?

So I asked myself:

"Would I ever tell my son that taking care of himself is selfish?"

Of course not. So why was I telling myself that?

✅ Self-care isn’t selfish—it’s survival. Just like a car needs gas, you need to refill your own tank.

Hand holds a mug with "Magnificent Mum" text. The background is softly blurred, suggesting a cozy, warm setting.

💡 Try This: Instead of seeing self-care as an extra, start treating it like an appointment you can’t cancel. Schedule it in like you would any other responsibility.

2. Letting Go of the "Good Mom" Myth

For years, I thought being a good mom meant always being available, always saying yes, and always putting my child first.

But what kind of example was I setting?

I don’t want my son to grow up thinking that loving other people means neglecting yourself. I want him to see that:

✔ Moms deserve rest.

✔ Moms deserve joy.

✔ Moms deserve to have their own lives.

💡 Try This: When guilt creeps in, ask yourself: What do I want my kids to learn about self-worth? Then, lead by example.

3. Learning That Rest is Productive

I used to feel like I had to be constantly productive—as if rest was something I had to earn.

But the truth?

🌟 Rested me = Better me.

🌟 I show up more present when I take care of myself.

🌟 The world doesn’t fall apart when I take a break.

💡 Try This: The next time you feel guilty for resting, remind yourself: I am more productive when I take care of myself first.

Woman in a pink sweater and gray leggings lies on a bed, hugging a pillow. Soft natural light from a window creates a calm mood.

4. Setting Boundaries—Even When It Feels Uncomfortable

Saying no for the first time? Terrifying.

I was used to saying yes to:

🚩 Plans I didn’t want to attend.

🚩 Extra work I didn’t have time for.

🚩 Expectations that drained me.

Then I realized:

❌ Every “yes” to someone else is a “no” to myself.

❌ The people who truly care about me will understand.

❌ Boundaries don’t make me mean—they make me healthy.

In fact, Research from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology shows that people with clear boundaries experience 25% lower levels of anxiety and depression, as they feel more in control of their interactions and emotions.

💡 Try This: The next time someone asks for something you don’t have the energy for, pause before answering. Ask yourself, Is this something I want to do, or something I feel obligated to do? If it’s the latter, give yourself permission to say no.